Tag: anxiety

Negative emotions in recovery: Fear, sadness and everything inbetween

Posted on by kathleenmc1953@sbcglobal.net

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We all have our go-to negative emotions. For many of us it’s sadness, for others it’s fear. In my experience these are the two primary negative emotions with other negative emotions being contained in the continuum between them. Feelings of hurt, jealousy, desperation, disappointment, boredom, irritation- they all contribute to a sense of being on the emotional seesaw. Tip it too much toward one end and the feeling builds up and becomes overwhelming.

When you have a substance use problem emotions are not your friend. Abusing substances really is the elusive antidote to negative emotions. But it backfires. The sadness and fear build; sadness is transformed into depression and fear into anger. It’s no wonder that depression and antisocial behavior often go hand-in-hand with drinking and drug use.

In my view, when people go into recovery they are not only making a conscious decision to stop using drugs and/or alcohol but, whether they know it at the time or not, they are also committing to encountering their emotions fully. This is very courageous. Imagine how hard it would be to face years, and sometimes a lifetime, of misplaced emotions. For many, it really is almost too much to bear.

Consequently, accepting and expressing emotions are as much a part of recovery as not using. These skills are learned with time through developing self-awareness. In the end, the goal is emotional maturity.

So the next time someone you know stops using drugs or alcohol, treat them with tremendous respect. They are not the product of their past anymore. They are facing the past in the blinding light of their present, alone and vulnerable. All they want and need is your understanding and support.

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For some practical strategies on how to cope with negative emotions the following link is extremely helpful:

www.choosehelp.com/topics/recovery/how-to-handle-negative-emotions-without-drugs-or-alcohol-using-mindfulness-and-mental-imagery-to-cope-with-uncomfortable-feelings

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DISCLAIMER
This information is for educational purposes only and should not in any way be considered a substitute for professional help. If you feel that you need immediate assistance please call your local psychiatric emergency services.

Self-reflection: Be your own therapist

Posted on by kathleenmc1953@sbcglobal.net

Photo: Kathleen McCormick

How is your life going? Do you keep running into the same problems over and over again? Would you like to:

  • not second guess yourself so much
  • be good enough as you are without comparing yourself to someone else
  • stop taking things so personally
  • be able to handle situations that are difficult without thinking the worst will happen
  • refrain from blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong
  • stop feeling that you have to do things perfectly

Do you see a way out?

Getting help or helping yourself

For many years now I have subscribed to a way of dealing with problems. It is called cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It is very simple and elegant in how it can provide you with insight into how you think and how this interacts with feelings and behaviors. CBT is problem-focused and action oriented. It can be done with the help of a therapist and there are also many excellent workbooks and interactive computer programs that people can use on their own. What I find to be really great about CBT is that it provides you with a framework that ultimately teaches you to be your own therapist. Basically it helps you to become critical of your own negative thinking and to think more realistically and constructively. It also helps you to figure out which behaviors are serving you well and which are not. It has been found to be effective in treating almost every mental health issue from depression to addiction use disorders to schizophrenia.

The basics

Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck are considered to be the fathers of cognitive behavioral models of treatment. They came up with their models independently. Albert Ellis’ model is referred to as Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy while Aaron Beck’s model is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy . In these blog posts I will concentrate on Aaron Beck’s model since this is the model I was trained in and use. It explains how thinking affects mood and behavior and how this cycles back again to affect thinking. We learn to challenge our negative thinking and, through practice, become able to trace our negative thoughts back to our basic beliefs about ourselves, the world and the future. We can also challenge negative beliefs by addressing the behavioral part of the problem. For example, if we believe we are too anxious to attend social events we might test this out by arranging to meet a friend at a party. We essentially set up an experiment to prove ourselves wrong and gradually this belief begins to change.

Where do you start?

Once the basic model is understood you can start to work on your thinking and behavior in order to improve how you feel. You can learn more about this process at the following websites which I highly recommend:

Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:

http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/

Dr. David Burns’ website, Feeling Good:
http://feelinggood.com/