Practicing nostalgia: Looking back to look forward

Albany, NY nostalgia

Nostalgia is an interesting phenomenon. It is a force for going back into our past and pulling out evocative remnants of our memories. In life, we forget as much as we remember, however it’s what we remember that forms us and helps us to make sense of the world.

At a certain age nostalgia takes over. This usually happens when we are less active in the world and are turning inward. Circumstances often dictate this. We are taking time off from life to look backward instead of into the future. We are looking for clues to who and what we have become.

If you have had a long illness, a long vacation, an extended unemployment, a retirement, the death of someone close to you or anything that has taken you out of what you believe to be the normal imperceptible progression of life, then nostalgia can be your enemy or your friend.

Most dramatic life changes happen suddenly and involve a loss of some kind. The past comes rushing in to fill the gap and this experience can be very overwhelming. It is as though we are alone in a foreign land with no direction. To find our way back to ourselves and to the familiar streets of our psyche seems impossible.

This is reason enough to make forays into the foreign territory of nostalgia every once in a while especially when we are most comfortable with our lives: go back to the old neighborhood; sit in front of our childhood home; look at photographs of those who have passed; listen to music that helped form us; reread a book that changed our thinking forever; look up a friend that we haven’t seen in decades; get re-involved in a hobby or activity that we once enjoyed; or revisit places that inspired us at one time.

Nostalgia becomes the powerful force we turn to in order to redefine ourselves in light of our past. The light is bright and constant and there to help us make meaning out of the seeming chaos of those things we often have no control over. With a steady dose of nostalgia we become less fearful of the sudden curveballs that life inevitably throws us.

When we know how we survived, and even thrived, in the past we are more confident that we can do this now and in the future. We meet life on our own terms.

We simply look back to look forward.

Attitude adjustment and resolutions

Resolution

Some say resolutions are made to be broken, especially when we have the high expectation that we will most certainly break old destructive habits. We simply may be setting ourselves up for failure by not honoring how we can go about realistically changing. Let’s be easy rather than hard on ourselves, kind and gentle rather than harsh and unforgiving. And then let’s throw in some self-examination for good measure as we focus on our feelings and attitudes BEFORE we make other, more specific, resolutions. It’s a four step process:

1. Value yourself

You are a unique individual who has a purpose. You deserve to be here.

2. Value your accomplishments

You have talents and abilities that others can and have benefitted from. Take time to focus on your accomplishments and not what you lack.

3. Value your creativeness

Your life has been a creative act. You have made the decisions which have brought you to this point. Concentrate upon what has gone right with your life not with what has gone wrong. Know that you will continue to create your life moving forward.

4. Feeling better about yourself? Now go ahead with making those resolutions…..

DISCLAIMER
This information is for educational purposes only and should not in any way be considered a substitute for professional help. If you feel that you need immediate assistance please call your local psychiatric emergency services.