I know of a couple who have it all it seems: a house in the Hollywood Hills, an infinity pool, financial security, an intelligent daughter, great careers. They are a model couple in many respects. One person stays home and attends to the home front, the other has a high-powered role in Hollywood.

Recently this couple opened their home to another couple who were relocating from the east coast. This is when the picture began to change. The cracks in the relationship became more apparent. The presence of guests laid bare the problems this family was having behind closed doors. It was soon after this that things began to unravel for the couple; the difficulties and problems became obvious. The outcome for their relationship is uncertain at this juncture but they can no longer deny that they have work to do.`

The question is: Can your private relationship stand the scrutiny of others in the daily context of living? I would dare to say that inviting others into your home is the ultimate test of a relationship. You lay yourself bare; appearances are very difficult to maintain. You actually might discover that you have work to do where you thought you had none.

We have isolated ourselves from others so that we don’t have to rub up against our rough edges. When we enter their world or they enter ours our routines are upset. We discover how we have limited ourselves.

Because of this, I am becoming a fan of less privacy in order to discover and know ourselves. Living in the insular world of the couple or family prevents us from being who we fully are.

I would suggest that we stay with our friends more and use hotels less…